So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
