real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize