I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We had sex on a dog bed..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
