I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
