Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
