Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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