Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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