that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
