Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
