i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
