So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
