Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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