i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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