I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
