even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
