So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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