i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
