that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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