I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
