We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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