So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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