i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
