Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
