He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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