I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
