I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
