I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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