new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
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He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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