so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
