roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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