That's when you crack a 10am beer
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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