her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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