it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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