Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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