the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
