oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
