The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
