Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize