im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
