C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
