left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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