It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.