U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel