the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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