Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
