i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
