Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
