hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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