I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
