That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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