i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
