I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
