Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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