i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
