just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
