i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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