we're chasing vodka with high fives
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
